A Kidnapper is in the White House!!!

There is a old white man in the White House, who is currently holding hundreds of thousands of Federal Employees hostage, and forcing them to work without pay.

As ransom for their release he is demanding 5.7 BILLION DOLLARS!!!

The kidnapper reportedly wants the money to build a stupid wall. Apparently, he has taken the word sicko to a new level.

Enter the White House with extreme caution, because the kidnapper is surrounded by armed security guards.

Hostage negotiators will have a very difficult time negotiating with him, because he has a history of lying and reneging on promises and deals he had originally agreed too.

We are not sure if he has any accomplices, however we have learned that the FBI opened up a counter intelligence investigation into him, because they suspected he is working for the interests of Russia instead of the United States.

In addition to possibly being owned and operated by Russia, the kidnapper has also been influenced by Fake Fox News, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh.

Information obtained on the internet, suggests that the kidnapper likes golfing, sex with Porn Stars and possibly Golden Showers.

It is also known that the kidnapper has attempted to build a hotel in Russia and had secured financing from a Russian bank, which is currently under sanctions by the United States.

There have also been questions about the kidnappers’ mental stability. Many psychiatrists have debated if they have a “Duty To Warn” the American people about him.

Has anyone called the police yet?

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